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February 11, 2019

Romance – what it means to me after 33 years of marriage

What does being romantic mean

Romance can mean so many different things to so many different people.

Even dictionary’s have different definitions – one I found that I liked stated it as a noun – to mean a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

I have also seen it describes as a thoughtful expressions of love.

Having been married for 33 years and together with my husband for 38 years I think we must be getting something right. We are very happy and friend have commented on our relationship, how close we are and always laughing. I think there is a lot of romance in our relationship but maybe not in the classic way that it is to others. We do not do grand gestures like public displays of affection or flowers delivered to the door.

Also the romance has built during our relationship, I think true romances grow and evolve. They are never perfect from the start, we both think that we love each other much more now than at the beginning. Our opinion is that you think you love someone when you get married but as time has passed you know you do after a few years. Shared experiences and values.

Romance and relationships take compromise

Still happy and romantic after 33 years of marriage

We are a happily childless couple and that may have an impact on our closeness – we are everything to each other. Having each others sole attention – well Mr Fitz may argue that he shares me with Manchester City Football Club! To understand that last sentence you may want to read my previous post about why I love football.

We may give each other a card or we may not – it’s not something we get hooked up on if one forgets or doesn’t bother. We do not need one day of the year to express our thoughts – we do it daily.

Romantic gestures to us are small things, more gestures of love and caring – a brew in bed at weekends, Mr Fitz surprising me with my favourite take away fish and chips! Recently I had a nasty chest infection and I was having to sleep sat up on the couch, he got up in the middle of the night and offered to go to the 24 hour chemist to get me supplies. The silly text message during the day that doesn’t make sense to anyone else but us!

I read a lot these days about girls wanted to be treated like a princess and to them this means being bought expensive gifts and getting their own way about everything. This is the total opposite of my view on life. Each person is equally important in a relationship. Each person can have different viewpoints on many things and it is important that  both persons viewpoints, hobbies and interests are respected.

Mr Fitz and I do lots of things differently and although extremely close and loved up we are by no means joined at the hip!

In summary it is the silly things that are romantic gestures to us – one Valentines day he bought me a card and a pasty from a well known high street bakers! To me that was funny and sweet. I’d much rather that than expensive flowers. I’m fortunate to have been on the receiving end of so many small romantic gestures that have meant a lot to me and count my blessings to have romance in my life every day.

Anyway thank you for reading this and I wish you all a Happy Valentines Day

What is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you – I’d love to know please comment and let me know or email me

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Comments

  1. Naomi Oikonomou says

    February 11, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    I love this and so true! What ever your set up, being buds and enjoying one anothers company is key!

    Reply
    • earlyretirementrocks says

      February 14, 2019 at 8:23 am

      Yes friendship is more important than anything Happy Valentine’s Day

      Reply
  2. Bec Jones says

    February 12, 2019 at 12:01 pm

    It’s lovely to read about what romance means to you in a happy, long marriage – I think it’s really important to show your love for your significant every day by thoughtful, caring things, I write notes to My Chap in his bag for work – and we text often through the day.
    We’ve only been married 18months and known each other 10 years – in our early 50s – he’s my number 1 person and I’m his – and we laugh and have fun everyday – and he’s been an incredible support through difficult times.

    Reply
    • earlyretirementrocks says

      February 14, 2019 at 8:22 am

      Thank you for your comments. Yes it really is the small things that matter and laughter is THE most important thing I believe.

      Reply
  3. MissPond says

    February 13, 2019 at 8:16 am

    Awww 33 years, how wonderful 🙂 My partner and I aren’t very romantic in the stereotypical way of romance but we have our ways!

    Reply
    • earlyretirementrocks says

      February 14, 2019 at 8:21 am

      Yes I think each couple have their own ways not the ways that the media say you should have. Happy Valentine’s Day,

      Reply
  4. Chelsea says

    February 14, 2019 at 8:40 am

    What a lovely post, my mum and dad have been married nearly 30 years and they still get valentines day cards/flowers & he takes her a cup of tea every morning without fail 🙂

    Reply
    • earlyretirementrocks says

      February 14, 2019 at 8:46 am

      Yes that’s lovely! It really is nice daily gestures that mean everything

      Reply
  5. Katie Roman says

    February 21, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    I love this! I hope to have a marriage like this 🙂 I’m only one year in, 32 to go until I catch up to you 🙂 You both are lovely <3

    Reply
    • earlyretirementrocks says

      February 22, 2019 at 12:30 pm

      Thank you Katie for those lovely words. It takes work and compromise and a lot of laughter but it’s been very worth it! Despite having a successful career and gaining a Master s Degree at 41 – my marriage is to me my biggest success in life.

      Reply

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I’m Elaine a Neonatal Nurse who retired from the NHS at age 55. I’m loving this next phase of my life – Retirement is the best job I ever had. I want to share over 50’s lifestyle tips including age appropriate beauty reviews, coping with the trials and tribulations of the Menopause, weight gain around the middle, fashion, travel. Also  using my Neonatal experience for gift guides and ways to support families of Preterm and sick newborns.

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